Whew. So. Let’s talk about it. Many of us have a complicated relationship with our mothers. Some don’t have relationships with our moms at all. Whatever the case, know that the traumas that we hold from our experiences with our mother as a child don’t magically leave us. They get buried down while we carry them on into our lives as adults.
People can and do have so many failed relationships of all types with other Women and Femmes because of the initial examples we have with our moms. There’s a level of distrust and justifiably so. We don’t want any more violence happening to us.
I’ve had so many conversations with others about how our moms treated us in the past and present. And while I’m sure they “did the best they could” in their environments, the hurt is still there.
I’m speaking from personal experience too so don’t get it twisted. I’m also including myself. I loved my mother dearly but she like many others lacked the capacity needed to raised emotionally healthy children.
What’s done is done though. Some may apologize and others will deny, deny, deny. That’s ok. We MUST do our own individual work so we do not continue to deprive ourselves of MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS or harm others intentionally/unintentionally.
I hope these affirmations I wrote will help you like they helped me.
- I forgive my mother for placing unrealistic expectations on me as a child.
- I forgive my mother for not being emotionally present.
- I forgive my mother for the shame she projected onto my body.
- I forgive my mother for any emotional and physical abuse.
- I forgive my mother for her lack of physical affection.
- I forgive my mother for choosing others over me.
SPEAK THEM OUT LOUD. CRY out loud and SCREAM if you gotta. GET IT OUT.